The Red Dress Diary: Entry One

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we'll be reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry number one:

Meeting the Kids: What a difference four decades make! Widowed at 57, I never dreamed that I would ever find love again after losing my partner of almost 40 years. Then I met Tom, and will be walking down the aisle for the second time as a sixty-year-old bride.

Naturally, everything is completely different with this relationship and subsequent marriage. For one thing, I have gone from having no children to four grown children and seven grandchildren. And that brings us to the topic of this first entry in The Red Dress Diary, aptly named after the fact that I will be married in a red dress.

Meeting Tom's kids was terrifying. But being fearful was wasted energy. Within a few minutes of each introduction, I found myself feeling like I finally had what I always wanted--kids! And although there have been some adjustments to these and many other changes in my life, I feel that meeting and getting to know the kids has made me a better, more accepting person.

I discovered the secret in blending families is to just relax and enjoy the new and different personalities and relationships. I have to admit that the first time one of the girls asked if her son could call me "Mimi," I felt a bit uncomfortable. But that acceptance made me understand that whether we grow up with our family members or inherit them, we just need to accept and respect each other--despite the differences. I am already finding out that when acceptance comes first, love and understanding will just fall into place.

--Melinda (Mad Dog)