...where every woman over 50 is TOP DOG!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Red Dress Diary: Entry One

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we'll be reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry number one:

Meeting the Kids: What a difference four decades make! Widowed at 57, I never dreamed that I would ever find love again after losing my partner of almost 40 years. Then I met Tom, and will be walking down the aisle for the second time as a sixty-year-old bride.

Naturally, everything is completely different with this relationship and subsequent marriage. For one thing, I have gone from having no children to four grown children and seven grandchildren. And that brings us to the topic of this first entry in The Red Dress Diary, aptly named after the fact that I will be married in a red dress.

Meeting Tom's kids was terrifying. But being fearful was wasted energy. Within a few minutes of each introduction, I found myself feeling like I finally had what I always wanted--kids! And although there have been some adjustments to these and many other changes in my life, I feel that meeting and getting to know the kids has made me a better, more accepting person.

I discovered the secret in blending families is to just relax and enjoy the new and different personalities and relationships. I have to admit that the first time one of the girls asked if her son could call me "Mimi," I felt a bit uncomfortable. But that acceptance made me understand that whether we grow up with our family members or inherit them, we just need to accept and respect each other--despite the differences. I am already finding out that when acceptance comes first, love and understanding will just fall into place.

--Melinda (Mad Dog)

21 comments:

Karen Syed said...

I am so excited for you! I am also excited about getting to meet Tom when we are all in LA for the LA Times Book Festival in April.

We will have to all go out and celebrate your happiness!.

Yea for you!!! Hmm, now what to get for a wedding present...hmmm

http://karensyed.blogspot.com

Katrina said...

I have a friend that became a grandmother at an early age and
she didn't want to be called grandma, etc... Her solution?
Her twin granddaughters call her
"Honey". It's so cute to hear them holler "Honey--- can you fix me a piece of toast and put honey on it too!

WOOFers said...

Karen--the LA Times Book Festival will be great fun all the way around. I can't wait. Thanks for the comment! And wedding present? That brings up another topic about combining two households.When you are this age you don't need a thing!

Melinda

WOOFers said...

Katrina--that is so funny!!! Thanks for reading and more will be coming.

Melinda

Eileen Williams said...

My very best wishes to the bride to be. You've passed the biggest hurdle (meeting the family) with flying colors and how wonderful to have grown so close in such a short amount of time.
Thanks for letting us share in your secret diary. I'll be reading it with great interest and celebrating right along with you!

WOOFers said...

Eileen--

Thank you so much. I truly feel blessed to be able to celebrate love for the second time.

Regan Black said...

What a lovely and meaningful post. I wish you all the best! (and look forward to the next entry)

Regan
http://www.regansrealm.blogspot.com

WOOFers said...

Regan, I appreciate your comments. Although I never dreamed I would be a bride at this point in my life, I am thrilled about it. It is so much fun writing about this,so thanks for staying tuned!

Melinda

Mary Cunningham said...

I'm looking forward to hearing more, Melinda!

Inspiring post, and so many well-wishers!

Mary
(Milkbone)

WOOFers said...

Mary, the issues older brides face are interesting, so I'll be journaling about everything from combining two households and maintaining the balance between old and new memories, to being a bargain bride!

Melinda

Diana Black said...

Whoo-hoo, Melinda...

I'm so proud of you...and sooooo happy for you!

You're inspiration to us all...

Diana (d.d.dawg)

WOOFers said...

The support, love and acceptance of all my friends and family members has been fantastic. Thank you Diana.

Melinda

The Stiletto Gang said...

Congratulations, Melinda! I enjoyed reading your blog entry and will have to mark my calendar to check in here on Fridays.

Rhonda
aka the Southern Half of Evelyn David

http://www.evelyndavid.com

WOOFers said...

Thank you Rhonda. I am looking forward to a lot more fun with the diary entries.

Melinda

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading your post, Melinda. Congratulations and best wishes. Looking forward to reading more as the time goes by.

Bev Nijhawan

Beverly Mahone said...

Melinda,

Congratulations! I did the "Marriage: Second Time Around" in my late 40s and we are having the time of our lives! My husband's children are grown and they just see me as their dad's wife--no interaction at all. My daughter, on the other hand, has frequent contact with her step-dad and accepts the relationship.

You know, I actually wanted to wear red to my ceremony but I thought the minister might have a problem with the negligee :)

Keep us updated.

WOOFers said...

Thank you so much Bev!

Melinda

WOOFers said...

Beverly--

That was so funny about the minister! My friend is already upset about me wearing the color red so I can imagine that outfit would kill her!

Pop Art Diva! said...

What a great attitude you have - it must have made everything so much easier for everyone involved.

And I love the red dress and the Red Dress Diary idea!

Thanks for stopping by the PopArtDiva™ Retro Baby Boomer Blog again!

Anne Carter said...

Melinda,

What a great idea for a blog! I hope you are thinking about adapting your installments into something for publication!

Congrats and I look forward to meeting you next month in L.A.

Anne
http://beacon-street.blogspot.com

WOOFers said...

Thanks Anne. There is much more to come!