And Then There's Maude...

Emmy Award-winning actress Bea Arthur, best known as star of the hit TV comedies "Maude" and "Golden Girls," has died at age 86.

Never one to shy away from a controversial role, I was surprised to hear that she was shy in real life. Her commanding presence onstage and on screen certainly gives the opposite view.

She was first noticed as a guest on Archie Bunker, much to Archie's chagrin! I still remember when the door opened and "Maude" blew into our lives. The higher-ups at CBS were so impressed they didn't know her name, but knew they wanted Maude to have her own show. That's making an impression, all right.

In interview she was asked why she returned to Broadway in 2002, at the age of 78 with her own show, "Just Between Friends," which she did barefoot, by the way, after she fell onstage in Minneapolis, spraining her ankle. "Why don't you retire?" she was asked.

Her answer was, why should she retire from something she loves to do? She said that people retire from jobs they don't like. Fortunately for us, she loved her job.

What was your favorite Bea Arthur role? Maude, Golden Girls?

CBS Sunday Morning - on the Death of Bea Arthur - April 26,
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Mary Cunningham (Milkbone)

WOOF

The Red Dress Diary: #7 The Bargain Bride

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry #7:

The Bargain Bride:

I am now being referred to as the bargain bride. I guess that is appropriate since I got my dress for less than twenty dollars at a clearance sale, my shoes were half price and our rings came from Sam's. I think we will go with a Wal-Mart cake and the ceremony will take place at our neighborhood clubhouse.

I already have some tongues wagging about the fact that I am being married in a red dress. But hey, that's okay! I think--no, I know--that I am proud of this "give 'em something else to talk about" new nickname. Why spend a lot of money on a second wedding? Or any wedding for that matter? So I'll gladly show off my borrowed tablecloths and punchbowl, home printed invitations, cheap red dress and new title!

--Melinda (Mad Dog)

What secrets would you like revealed in The Red Dress Diary?
Anything special you'd like Mad Dog to cover ... or "uncover?"

Interview with Patricia Harman - Blue Cotton Gown -Part Two

As promised, WOOF is presenting an interview with Blue Cotton Gown author, Patricia Harmon.

Patricia Harman has spent over thirty years caring for women as a midwife, first as a lay-midwife, delivering babies in cabins and on communal farms in West Virginia, and later as a nurse-midwife in teaching hospitals and in a community hospital birthing center.

Praise for Blue Cotton Gown:

“A flower child who found her calling after coaching a friend through a home birth, nurse-midwife Harman works with her ob-gyn husband at a West Virginia clinic. In her sweetly perceptive memoir, she reveals how her exam room becomes a confessional. Coaxing women in thin blue gowns to share secrets—about abusive boyfriends, OxyContin habits, unplanned pregnancies—she reminds them that they’re not alone.” —People Magazine

WOOF: Thank you, so much, for visiting WOOF, Patricia! The Blue Cotton Gown: A Midwife's Memoir is a book about women in trouble. Why did you write this book?

PH: I’ve always been so impressed with the courage of the ordinary women. Patients of all walks of life come into my exam room and I ask them, “So how are you doing? How’s your stress level? At first they may make a joke about it.”

“Oh, terrible, but isn’t everyone’s….”

But then I draw my rolling exam stool forward and they tell me their stories. I leave the exam room shaken and in awe by the very difficult situations women are in and the courage they have to have just to march on. Since I had insomnia, I began to get up at night and write down their stories. I felt there was something majestic about them. These women, with all their imperfections, are like all of us, and they’re my heroes.”

WOOF: Who is The Blue Cotton Gown written for?

PH: I wrote the Blue Cotton Gown primarily for other women, but the men that have picked it up have been fascinated. That’s partly because one of the male protagonist is my husband, a mild mannered physician, who like the women in the stories has his own troubles. I think, in addition to women of all ages, the book is interesting to health care providers because it illuminates some of the difficulties of trying to maintain a private practice in the midst of a health care system in crisis.

WOOF: Did it concern you that you might say more about your patients than they would want you to?

PH: I went to great lengths to disguise each patient. If you were an Asian Teacher I’d make you a Hispanic Bank President. I also let each major patient read her own chapters to see if she wanted them to be in the book, or if she wanted me to change anything. Not one said no. One women spoke for them all when she told me, ‘If my story can help another woman not feel alone, I want it to be in there.’

WOOF: Of all the many problems that women have, and that you address in the book, what strikes you as the most difficult?

PH: Women carry great burdens, often in silence. When I ask patients about their stress level, most of the time it is a 9 or 10. This is not good for their health. I am also concerned that women have so little support and feel alone. All this affects their health. Women take care of everyone else and themselves last.

WOOF: How did you decide which women to write about?

I chose women who came back to the office several times over the course of a year and women of all ages so there’s someone in The Blue Cotton Gown that every reader can relate to.

WOOF: The book has a lot of information about you and your family. How did your husband, Dr. Harman, and your sons feel about this?

PH: My husband Tom is my partner and back-up physician in our practice. I didn’t start out to write about myself, or the practice, the health care system or our marriage and family, but it turned out to be an integral part of the Blue Cotton Gown. Our story is interwoven with the stories of patients. Tom and my boys were incredibly generous in letting me write about our difficulties and our love. I guess we all believe that honesty is the best policy and that people can learn from other’s experiences.

WOOF: What’s been the most rewarding thing about writing and getting The Blue Cotton Gown published?

PH: The letters from readers. The Blue Cotton Gown celebrates the courage of the ordinary women and all professionals who struggles to survive with their souls intact. I get emails every day from readers who are touched by the book. It makes a difference to their lives.

I'm sure WOOFers everywhere will be inspired by Patricia Harmon and Blue Cotton Gown!


Read Part One


Interview on Charleston’s West Virginia Public Broadcasting. Listen to it here.

And check Bookland Heights for more on Blue Cotton Gown

Visit the author website: Patricia Harmon

Buy Now on Amazon

Mary Cunningham (Milkbone)

Mary Cunningham Books

Blue Cotton Gown - Patricia Harmon

Over the next two days, WOOF will feature a very special WOOFer, author, Patricia Harmon, or Fuzz (the name she chose for the the sisterhood of WOOF!). "My dog mix is beagle-fox terrier and my name will be Fuzz. Don't ask me why. It just came to me."

That's what's nice about being an over-50 woman! We don't have to explain everything we do! So, without further delay, here's Fuzz, er...I mean Patricia Harman!

Patricia Harman, a nurse-midwife, manages a women’s health clinic with her husband, Tom, an ob-gyn, in West Virginia—a practice where patients open their hearts, where they find care and sometimes refuge. Patsy’s memoir juxtaposes the tales of these women with her own story of keeping a small medical practice solvent and coping with personal challenges.

Her patients range from Appalachian mothers who haven’t had the opportunity to attend secondary school to Ph.D.’s on cell phones. They come to Patsy’s small, windowless exam room and sit covered only by blue cotton gowns, and their infinitely varied stories are in equal parts heartbreaking and uplifting. The nurse-midwife tells of their lives over the course of a year and a quarter, a time when her outwardly successful practice is in deep financial trouble, when she is coping with malpractice threats, confronting her own serious medical problems, and fearing that her thirty-year marriage may be on the verge of collapse.

Patricia Harman has spent over thirty years caring for women as a midwife, first as a lay-midwife, delivering babies in cabins and on communal farms in West Virginia, and later as a nurse-midwife in teaching hospitals and in a community hospital birthing center.

For the past twenty years, Ms. Harman has been a nurse-midwife on the faculty of The Ohio State University, Case Western Reserve University and most recently West Virginia University. In 1998 she went into private practice with her husband, Tom, an OB/Gyn, in Morgantown, West Virginia. Here they devoted their lives to caring for women and bringing babies into the world in a gentle way.

When, in 2003, the cost of liability insurance for Obstetrics sky-rocketed from $70,000 a year to $110,000, the Harman's decided to give up deliveries. Though many loyal patients grieved the loss of their favorite mid-wife/physician team, the change in life style gave the author time to begin writing her first book, The Blue Cotton Gown: A Midwife's Memoir.

She still lives and works with her husband, Ob/Gyn Thomas Harman, in Morgantown, West Virginia at their clinic, Partners in Women's Health Care. Though she no longer attends births, she provides care for women in early pregnancy and through-out the life span. She brings to this work the same dedication and compassion she brought to obstetrics.

Praise for Blue Cotton Gown:

“A flower child who found her calling after coaching a friend through a home birth, nurse-midwife Harman works with her ob-gyn husband at a West Virginia clinic. In her sweetly perceptive memoir, she reveals how her exam room becomes a confessional. Coaxing women in thin blue gowns to share secrets—about abusive boyfriends, OxyContin habits, unplanned pregnancies—she reminds them that they’re not alone.” —People Magazine

“Here is an intimate account of a woman, both her career as a midwife and her life as the wife of a doctor in West Virginia. Her patients’ lives are stories of hope and loss; her marriage is a story of love and faith accompanied by debt and tension. Well-written and heartfelt.” —Boston Globe

“A moving and illuminating memoir from a talented nurse-midwife about the troubled courageous women in her care.” —Shelf Awareness

Check back tomorrow for the interview with author, Patricia Harmon!

An Oct. 2008 Indie Next selection

Blue Cotton Gown - Amazon

Also featured this week on Bookland Heights


Mary Cunningham (Milkbone)

Mary Cunningham Books

Cynthia's Attic Blog

Feisty Side of Fifty Interview!

Showing Attitude! (Eileen is in the middle)

Diana (d.d. dawg) and Mary (Milkbone) had the privilege of being interviewed on Blog Talk Radio by Eileen Williams of Feisty Side of Fifty Fame.

Except for a couple of "wardrobe malfunctions" (While answering one of Eileen's questions, a bird mistook Mary's office window for open air space, and a few minutes later, Diana's other phone line rang off the hook while she was talking), the interview was fun and, well...Feisty!

Kudos to WOOFer Eileen for the way she has built her dream into a major site for Boomer women. In addition to Mary & Diana, she has also interviewed Suzanne Braun Levine, the first editor of Ms. Magazine, and (don't tell anyone) we have it from a reliable source that best-selling author (and WOOFer) Mary Higgins Clark will soon be a guest!

We just hope Ms. Clark can hold up to the pressure of following Diana and Mary's fabulous interview!

Feisty Side of Fifty!

Buy WOOF

The Red Dress Diary: Entry Six

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry 6:

Wedding Gifts? My publisher, Karen, recently wished me the best on my upcoming nuptials and mentioned a wedding gift. That brings up another topic and entry for The Red Dress Diary.

An older second marriage not only combines two extended families, it also means facing the challenge of dealing with two sets of "stuff." At this point, most couples over fifty have lots of furniture, possibly two houses, and tons of knick knacks and pictures. Tom and I decided to live in my little house, so just finding room for his clothes seemed to be an issue.

Then we both realized that having too much is not a problem! Our solution has been to take this opportunity to simplify our lives by giving away as much as we can to our families or charity. And as for wedding gifts, we are adding these words to our reception invitation: No gifts, please. Your gift to us will be your presence.

--Melinda (Mad Dog)

For Melinda Musings pre-engagement, check out WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty (Echelon Press)

Never too old to try something YOU!

WOOF - We've Gone Hollywood!

WOOFers ROCK!!

Howl along with us! Start your own WOOFer Club today! WOOFers Club website

E-mail us and we'll tell you howl, er...I mean how! GreatDames@Woofersclub.com

WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty available at:

Amazon

Echelon Press

The Red Dress Diary: Entry Five

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry 5, with a bonus picture! (yeah, now we know what Tom looks like!):



Entry Five: "Blithe Spirit" Tom and I went to see Noel Coward's play recently. It was particularly meaningful, since it is about a writer whose dead first wife is conjured up by a medium. The ghost "moves in" and begins to compete with the second wife for the husband's affections. As funny as it was, it also made me think about having two soul mates in one lifetime.


After spending almost forty years of my life with Sid, I did have some happiness guilt when I fell in love with Tom. But then something occurred to me. Sid was the perfect mate for the nineteen-year-old naive, dependent girl I was when I married him. With luck and hard work, we also managed to weather many changes in our long relationship.


But after Sid died, I was forced to change very drastically. Now I feel that Tom is the perfect mate for the sixty-year-old wiser, stronger and much more independent woman I have become. How lucky is that? Some people only find such deep love once in a lifetime. I am truly blessed to have found the perfect man for me--twice.


--Melinda (Mad Dog)

Mindy and the B-17

Tom won me a ride on a B-17 at the Wings of Freedom Tour. Yesterday I took that ride from the old Tyler airport, and it was the most amazing experience. The plane, "9-0-9" was so stable and we flew at about 1500 feet, so the view was gorgeous on a beautiful sunny day in Texas.

Before we boarded (there were 7 of us) I mentioned that my Dad was the radio man on a B-17 during WWII. I was then escorted right to the radio man's seat. I saw the equipment he would have used, and stared out the window, thinking about what it would have been like to be in that seat during combat. It was a very emotional experience, particularly when one of the flight crew members came out and said "Your Dad is here with you."

Right above me was open sky! No plexigass or anything--just an open oval area. Needless to say, it was loud and windy--but so cool!

Melinda (Mad Dog)

What great adventures have you had? Email us at GreatDames@Woofersclub.com

You could be our next Guest Blogger!

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Buy: WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty

Red Dress Diary - Entry Four, Love Is A Ride On A B-17

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's the four entry:


The best gifts we receive usually don't cost a lot of money. They come straight from the heart, and really do have a lot of thought behind them.

Tom recently heard that rides on a vintage B-17 aircraft were going to be offered at a local air show. After deciding that I would probably kill him if he spent $425 on a half-hour ride, he opted to buy forty dollars worth of raffle tickets in an attempt to win the flight for me.

My Dad was the radioman on a B-17 during World War II, and Tom knew how much it would mean to me to be able to sit on that tiny seat, surveying all the communication equipment my deceased father would have used during his thirty-five successful bombing missions.

Tom told me about this "second anniversary of our meeting" gift and I was thrilled. It didn't matter if he won. It was the idea that he would, one: remember the day we met, and two: want to give me such an emotional experience. And then--he won!

I took my amazing ride on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I had mentioned my father to someone as we boarded. Immediately a crew member took me to the radioman's seat and strapped me in. Then he whispered, "You Dad is here with you."

I got more than a lump in my throat looking out the little window, as we soared above the trees in that enormous plane. I tried to imagine what horrific things Dad might have seen during combat, and I was once again thankful that he and many other men and women made such great sacrifices to insure my freedom.

Tom and my father never had the opportunity to meet, but I know my Dad is happy to know that I am marrying a man who gave me such a wonderful, loving gift.

Melinda (Mad Dog)

Check out the full story and photos of Mad Dog's B-17 flight on Milkbone's April 6th blog entry!