WOOF: Those Doggone Resolutions!

Resolutions From WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty!

1. I will read LARGE PRINT books in public.

2. I will eat a mid-day snack so that I can hold off dinner until 4.45 PM.

3. I will stop telling everyone I'm shopping for much older sister on senior discount days.

4. I will clean out all the AARP literature under the shrub next to the mailbox.

5. I will donate my high school mini skirt to a worthy cause...

6. .... YOUR TURN!!!

Resolution: Outsource Resolutions!

I realize there's a lot of debate about outsourcing. BUT in the interest of becoming a "more perfect WOOFer" and utilizing my time and energy to the optimum (while bequeathing my bestest WOOFer buds a reason for living and breathing), I hereby, thusly, and all that jazz, outsource my 2009 resolutions:

To Milkbone: All of my cardio and strength training exercise; payment (in full) of any and all of my health club membership dues; my mammogram and colonoscopy exams.

To Mad Dog: Any and all of my financial debt, to be paid in full by January 2; successful increase of my annual income to $500 billion by January 3.

To Alpha Canine: All of my current volunteer responsibilities; founding and funding a new 501c3 (The d.d. dawg Do Good Stuff Foundation) to save the planet, stop hunger, cure cancer and clone Johnny Depp.

To Pedigree: Any and all of my marketing, emailing and blogging duties; successfully scheduling interview spots for ME ALONE on Ellen & Oprah.

Wow, I feel new and improved already! Wait. Perhaps I should outsource my feelings to...Hey, where'd everybody go?!?!?

Now it's YOUR turn...Let the outsourcing begin!

(Speed read the following like an announcer at the end of a drug ad: Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a Resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, a system where small measurable goals are used (lose a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.)

-- d.d. dawg (Diana)