...where every woman over 50 is TOP DOG!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Resolution: Outsource Resolutions!

I realize there's a lot of debate about outsourcing. BUT in the interest of becoming a "more perfect WOOFer" and utilizing my time and energy to the optimum (while bequeathing my bestest WOOFer buds a reason for living and breathing), I hereby, thusly, and all that jazz, outsource my 2009 resolutions:

To Milkbone: All of my cardio and strength training exercise; payment (in full) of any and all of my health club membership dues; my mammogram and colonoscopy exams.

To Mad Dog: Any and all of my financial debt, to be paid in full by January 2; successful increase of my annual income to $500 billion by January 3.

To Alpha Canine: All of my current volunteer responsibilities; founding and funding a new 501c3 (The d.d. dawg Do Good Stuff Foundation) to save the planet, stop hunger, cure cancer and clone Johnny Depp.

To Pedigree: Any and all of my marketing, emailing and blogging duties; successfully scheduling interview spots for ME ALONE on Ellen & Oprah.

Wow, I feel new and improved already! Wait. Perhaps I should outsource my feelings to...Hey, where'd everybody go?!?!?

Now it's YOUR turn...Let the outsourcing begin!

(Speed read the following like an announcer at the end of a drug ad: Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a Resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, a system where small measurable goals are used (lose a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.)

-- d.d. dawg (Diana)

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, I can handle the Johnny Depp clone thing. Well, not really, but will be fun trying.
I need to outsource the cleaning of my house and all those other mundane little jobs I hate to do. If someone will take care of that, I can manage the other that d.d. has outsourced for me.
Happy 2009. Alpha Canine

Diana Black said...

Yeah, I thought you might like that Johnny Depp "chore!"

House cleaning! Why didn't I think of THAT?!?! (maybe because I never clean the house?!?!)

Happy backatcha, AC.
Love,
d.d.

Mary Cunningham said...

Hey! I wanted Johnny Depp!!

Diana Black said...

Okay, okay...

How 'bout you get
Bon Jovi?

Beverly Mahone said...

Interesting Blog! I guess I'm a WOOF DIVA (Divinely, Inspired, Vivacious & Anointed)

Fun read!

Diana Black said...

Beverly, er, I mean, WOOF DIVA:

Welcome to the Wonderful World of WOOF! Sounds like you fit right in with the "pack" -- great sense of humor and self-image.

I just glanced at your site - Boomer Diva Nation.
Looks great! I'm going to further check it out...right now!!

"Ride with the wind in your face!"

d.d.dawg

Mary Cunningham said...

Love your style, Beverly! Thanks for stopping by.

I've enjoyed your Boomer Diva Nation, too!

Morgan Mandel said...

I'd like to outsource all my papers and books to an Office Depot or another office supply store that has plenty of cabinets and desk drawers, because I don't.
Then, when I need anything, they could just deliver it with same-day service.

Morgan Mandel
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
http://www.morganmandel.com

Mary Cunningham said...

Love the way you think, Morgan.

I'd like to oursource my resolution to write more consistently to J. K. Rowling.

Although...I'm still mulling over that thing about cloning Johnny Depp.

Diana Black said...

Morgan...I'm with YOU. Some days I'm sure my office is going to implode, explode or just plain PLODE!

Thanks for stopping by and leaving your great outsourcing idea.

d.d. dawg

Karen Syed said...

You are too funny. Thank goodness I missed that boat.

On the flip side, here is something for you and your fellow woofers.

Since you do so much for your readers I thought I would try and bring a smile to your face. Some say awards mean little, but when they come from the heart, hopefully they mean more. I recently accepted a Premio Dardos Award from Jane Kennedy Sutton (http://janekennedysutton.blogspot.com/). I would like to offer this award to you.

You can find out more on my blog at http://karensyed.blogspot.com

Happy new year.

Mary Cunningham said...

Thanks for the Premio Dardos Award, Karen! We'll pass it along!

Diana Black said...

AWESOME! Thanks, Karen!!

We will put our little WOOFer heads together and post our awards...

WOOF!
Diana