...where every woman over 50 is TOP DOG!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Stair Master?

I've gained a few pounds. Well, maybe more than a few. I refuse to get on a scale, and even go so far as to shut my eyes when I'm weighed at the doctor's office.

I couldn't hide from reality, however, when transferring winter clothes to my closet and then half of them back out again because THEY DIDN'T FIT! I'm talking jeans and pants that I got LAST YEAR! *sigh*

And, the holidays are upon us! Time to make my favorite treats! Chocolate fudge and sugar cookies to name a couple. No chance that I won't pack on even more pounds before Christmas!

Sitting in my dark closet, sucking my thumb, I remembered a segment on one of the morning shows from today...or yesterday. Oh, whenever! Some 110 pound twenty-something aerobics bunny suggested a way to get those unwanted winter pounds off when the weather was too nasty to exercise outdoors.

"Utilize the stairs in your home or at work!" she said, flashing a sparkling, perfectly white smile. "Start slowly. Maybe 5 minutes, 3 times a day."

I took my thumb out of my mouth, stood up and threw open the closet door. Piece a cake! I can do this! When we first moved into our two-story home, complete with full basement, I lost about ten pounds just going up and down the stairs a hundred or so times a day!

I stood at the bottom of the stairs and plotted my strategy. I would start off slowly. Ten times running up and down the stairs. Then I'd increase to twelve, then fourteen. Yep. That was my strategy for today.

Up-Down. Up-Down. Uuup-Dowwwwn. Uuuuuuup (huff, huff)-Down. Uuuuuuuuuuup (wheeze, gasp, pant)-Down. After just five times up and down the stairs, my life flashed before my eyes and I weighed the possibility of making it to the phone in the family room to call 911.

Eventually, I did make it back up the stairs...one step at a time. Tomorrow's exercise? Throwing away everything in my closet that isn't elastic.

Mary Cunningham (Milkbone)


Zan Marie said...

Oh, yes the dreaded holiday bulge! And as for the stairs. . .hurt my lower back trying that once. I'll stick to walking the church parking lot next door and the elliptical rider in the solarium.

Mary Cunningham said...

Hurt your lower back, huh?? Hmmmm...guess I'd better not try THAT again!

Thanks for the excuse, Zan Marie.

Zan Marie said...

Well, I do have problems with over stretched ligaments from a zillion years of fibromyalgia, so my experience may be strange. Of course, it didn't help that the stairs in questions are down from my deck and are not standard rise and run. Oops, that's a technical term from my daddy's carpentry. ; )

Eileen Williams said...

Boy, can I relate! But my bulges don't wait for the holidays to make their presence known--they're now an all seasons figure accessory. My meno-pot (growing for the past several years) is now enhanced by a saucy muffin-top that rolls over any waistband I dare to don and would make the Pillsbury dough boy envious.
New Year's resolutions anyone? For me, I like your idea of thumb sucking in my closet. No strains or pulls or sweat--just a bit of peace and oral gratification.
Your site is great and I'm adding it to my blog roll. Thanks for the FUN!

Diana Black said...

Eileen, your comment is too funny! So glad you're climbing aboard the WOOFer Wagon!
Remember: Ride with the wind in your face!

Mary Cunningham said...

Love your descriptions, Eileen! meno-pot. Wish I'd thought of that one.

Yeah, I used to use the holidays as an excuse for weight gain, but now it's a year-round hobby.

Thanks for the comment and for adding us to your blog roll!

Feisty Side of Fifty is on ours, too. WOOF readers, check it out. It's great!

Have a super 2009.