...where every woman over 50 is TOP DOG!

Monday, February 9, 2009

New and Improved WOOFer Diet!

This diet is designed to help you cope with stress that builds up during the day.

1/2 Grapefruit
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, dry
8 oz. Skim Milk

4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
1 Cup Steamed Spinach
1 Cup Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie

Rest of Oreos in Pkg
2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream

2 Loaves Garlic Bread w/Cheese
Lg. Sausage/Mushroom/Cheese Pizza
1 Lg. Pitcher Sweet Tea
3 Milky Way Candy Bars

Entire Frozen Cheesecake
(Eat directly from freezer)


1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don´t count if you don´t eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the total entertainment package, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, and Junior Mints.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Example: peanut butter on a knife if making a sandwich, or ice cream on a spoon if making a sundae.Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, or mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food

Mary Cunningham, (Milkbone)
(with thanks to loyal WOOFer, Kim Grabholz for the contribution!)

Check out more "diet" tips in WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty


Gayle Carline said...

Very good rules! Add my own favorite:

"Gift food contains no calories."

And its corollary, "Food purchased to help fund a school or other worthwhile project has no calories, as they have also been donated to the project."


Mary Cunningham said...

Good to know, Gayle! Bring on those giant-size Butterfingers!

The Stiletto Gang said...

I thought the breakfast menu was a little harsh, but I saw the value of it by the time I got to the mid-afternoon snack. Great diet!


Mary Cunningham said...

I know, Evelyn! From mid-afternoon on, it's a diet I have no trouble following!

Rita@Goldivas.com said...

Very funny! The progression throughout the day is so true-to-life when you start out with an overly-strict diet!

Mary Cunningham said...

So true, Rita! I find that when I deprive myself early in the day I pay for it around 4:00PM. That always my most vulnerable time to binge!

Thanks for stopping by.