Why Is It So Hard To Find Clothes for WOOFers?

Every time I go shopping, I get frustrated. I can’t seem to find anything to wear. My choices are something in the Hannah Montana line, or an outfit that looks like it belonged to Eleanor Roosevelt (no offense to a great woman, but her generation dressed in a style I would label as “dowdy”).

These days clothing manufacturers are making their apparel for either the young, very shapely bodies or the older “only one curve and it is round” figures. Many of us over fifty have bodies that fall somewhere in the middle, and we want something stylish and flattering.

Take jeans for example. Most these days are “low riders.” I don’t sport a butterfly tattoo, and I really don’t think the world is ready to be exposed to my lower back (and that other thing that rhymes with back). I want something that sits comfortably at my waist and hides my tummy. The other day when I tried on a pair of elastic waist jeans, I let out a shriek that sent the sales lady running into the dressing room to see if I had just dropped dead. In the mirror I swear I saw my grandmother (God rest her soul) in pants that could have passed as two huge blue sacks.

And what about underwear? I find panties that either look like they could be used for big white kites, or thongs. Now you talk about uncomfortable! Not that I have had any experience with those thong panties—but I can just imagine what they feel like in that place I refuse to expose that rhymes with back.

Dresses, skirts and blouses aren’t much better. My middle aged roll won’t allow me to wear those cropped tops, and it seems my only other choice is a “I never leave the house” muumuu. Aren’t there any tasteful styles that are somewhere between “I’m a cute little hottie” and “I don’t care what I look like anymore?”

I don’t mean to slam or ridicule any age, size or shape, but honestly most of what is available for women over fifty is definitely not appealing to us, or appropriate for our body types.

I’m not trying to give anyone a plug here, but there are a few manufacturers that have gotten the message that there are a lot of women like me looking for nice clothes that fit well. I like the pretty styles at Coldwater Creek (especially when they hit the discount outlet store online!) and I discovered my favorite western store carries a line made by Wranglers called Aura. Not only do the jeans hug my waist comfortably, they are stretchy! Can’t beat that! I also understand that Spanx undergarments are the greatest thing since popcorn for “not so perfect but not terrible” older bodies like mine. I am anxious to try them.

So kudos to those folks, but we need to see a lot more choices out there for WOOFers!!

Two Song Broads

Cher’s take on aging. “It sucks!”

Tina Turner. “Age is just a number.”

Gotta love 'em both. Tina, 68, touring again. Still, legs to die for. Attitude and light radiating from her FUNky hair right down to her stilettos. Makes you wonder if that river she’s been rolling on all these years flows from the fountain of youth.

Cher, 61, opening in Las Vegas. No biggie if you’re a performer of her caliber, right? Well, maybe. Except she gets stage fright and could easily sit home playing computer solitaire. For whatever reason, she’s also putting herself out there again. And, like Tina, she’s still got it going on.

Just maybe not quite so thrilled when she looks in the mirror at a middle-aged woman. Tina may have had a moment like that. Who knows. And perhaps Cher will turn the corner and feel better about the whole aging process. She and Tina already have a lot in common, personally as well as professionally.

Bottom line is this: These two song broads STILL give life all they got.

And, why not? It’s that, or play the red eight on the black nine. Now THAT sucks!

d.d. dawg

Woofers Are Covered!!

(drum roll, please)

Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys & girls. Dogs and cats (well, maybe not cats! Okay, cats included). We're thrilled to unveil the new cover for our upcoming release, Women Only Over Fifty (WOOF)! A funny, light-hearted break from the normal spin of the world. A humorous little book that will have WOOFers everywhere howling at the moon!

Yep. d.d. dawg (Diana), Mad Dog (Melinda) and Milkbone (Mary) can't wait for the book release by Echelon Press. Looks like July 1.

Watch for updates, because we'll soon be launching the Woofers Club Blog, including a forum were you can "unleash" all your funny stories, frustrations, and vents about the "joys" of the aging process.

So, get ready for the Wild, Wacky, Wonderful World of WOOF!

Doggone, we're good!

If One's Good...

Mother Goose - Random House, 1949

We love books, right? But just how much? Enough to set aside 12 buildings on our rural property where we house one million (yes, MILLION) tomes? Sure, we would if we could. But you gotta admit, THAT amount of effort takes an amazing passion for books.

Central Wisconsin, off County Road K, that’s where Lloyd Dickman cultivates wheat and corn while his wife Lenore grows the book collection. The Dickman’s bookstore is open regular business hours on Saturday and anytime by appointment…or if you happen to find them stocking shelves and not out procuring more books.

During an interview on CBS Sunday Morning, Lenore, who rather likes her Dickman system for cataloging instead of Dewey’s, pointed to a book table she says is the most important of all. The table does not labor under the weight of leather-bound classics like “Tale of Two Cities” or “Les Miserable.” Rather small, colorful reads such as “Mother Goose.”

“If a child knows eight nursery rhymes by the time he is four years old,” said Lenore, now retired, but who, with her husband’s support and sacrifice, earned a PhD, “that child will be an excellent reader by the time he is eight years old.”

Personally, I have to trust the opinion of someone ensconced by that much paper and ink; a person who when additional book space was needed, cleaned out, fixed up and roofed a huge storage bin that once held cow manure. Actually, that project was Lloyd’s contribution. Soon he’s going to turn over one-third of his tractor garage to Lenore’s ever-expanding stockpile.

That’ll bring their bookstore “chain” to 13. All that without serving one cup of coffee or surfacing the long dirt road leading to their store.

Yeah, one has to love books nearly as much as they do to venture out to their place. And that’s exactly what the Dickman’s count on.

Diana



CBS Sunday Morning - Bill Geist