WOOF: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Laugh in the New Year with WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty!

For Fido!

• I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV.
• I will not steal underwear belonging to my mistress and then dance all over the back yard with it.
• I will not chew red crayons or pens, because my master will think that I am haemorrhaging.
• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my coat BEFORE I enter the house.
  
  ___________________________
  For the women!

As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself.

Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.

Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0.

'See?' Janet said happily, 'You didn't miss a thing.'
__________________________
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.
_________________________
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'

'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.

WOOF: Media Monday - A Secret Society of Women?

WOOF (Women Only Over Fifty) isn't so much a secret society...unless you count the women who don't tell anyone they "qualify!"... Now this from ThirdAge.com:



The Secret Society of Women was created by journalist Lisa Ling as a forum for women to discuss issues pertinent to them, with the safety and freedom of anonymity.

Ling revealed that she painfully suffered a miscarriage six months ago. After going through the experience, she realized she wanted to create a place of support for women going through tough times. Thus, the Secret Society of Women was created.

With her friend Sophia Kim, the Secret Society allows women to share all of their thoughts anonymously.

“Welcome to our secret society. Of women. By women. For women. A place where we can divulge our deepest secrets about how we look, what we regret, who we fantasize about, what we aspire to do, or whatever else we’ve been keeping inside of us,” the website says to people that enter.

"We started Secret Society of Women after Lisa went through a personal experience where she felt very alone," the founder explain further on the website. "We realize that women hold many secrets and wanted to provide a forum where we can all share."

Ling is an American journalist

Picture: Lisa Ling arrives at the Glamour Magazine 2009 Women of the Year Awards at Carnegie Hall in New York City on November 9, 2009. UPI/John Angelillo .
Source: UP

WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty

WOOF: Furry Friends Friday - Happy Howlidays!

WOOF: Woop-Woop Wednesday - It's A Wonderful Life!

Happy Holidays from WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty!

WOOF: Media Monday - Fit for the Holidays!

Online article...Nothing we haven't read before, but at this candy, cookie and cake season of the year, not a bad thing to remember!

When people start getting older they often feel much less inclined to exercise as much as they used to, let alone begin suddenly when they never have before. It is understandable that as people age they don't want to be running around and lifting weights because they are bound to hurt themselves and they may simply not have the energy for it. However the reality is that you'll age twice as fast if you don't maintain your fitness, the body needs regular exercise no matter what age you may be, the only thing about being older is that the exercises you should do change somewhat.

This article explores some exercises which are more accommodating for those over fifty, particularly women. Nobody wants to just become a couch potato and enter their old age unfit, these exercises are easy and unthreatening so women over fifty can still be fit and feeling good about themselves. What follows are some exercise suggestions designed specifically for women over fifty.

Working out the back is absolutely critical for women over fifty; the back is often the weakest part of our body and is therefore prone to injury
, particularly as we age. Doing some lower back exercises also helps trim down the waistline, glutes, hips, and thighs. Simple back exercises like shrugs, back extensions, dead lifts and bent over rows are all excellent options for women over fifty.

Abdominal exercises are the best way to trim that stomach and gain some stability and core strength. Abdominal exercises are fairly straightforward, the big difference for women over fifty being that they should opt for softer versions of exercises, use an exercise ball to do crunches as opposed to doing them straight on the floor. In addition to crunches there are sit ups, oblique crunches, and bicycle crunches. Abdominal exercises are also great for promoting better digestion and relieving bowel problems-common complaints as we age.

Arm exercises are beneficial in many ways for women over fifty; they increase muscular endurance, mobility, and tone your arms. Triceps exercises in particular will eliminate any of that unwanted flab on the back of the arm. Try some triceps dips, triceps kickbacks, or overhead extensions to workout the triceps.

In regards to the biceps there are a variety of different curls, including the hammer curl, concentrated curl, and preacher curl. Joining a local gym or getting a trainer can help you figure out which exercises work best for you. Hopefully these exercise suggestions will spur you to get out there and get fit in whatever way suits you best.

Article author unlisted...Perhaps collapsed from over-exercise before they could add their name!

So just stretch a bit and reach for your copy of WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty! Don't own it yet? Click on the title and have it delivered right to your mailbox!

WOOF: Furry Friends Friday: Friends

Photo from LOLdogs

We all need friends. How about sharing your best friend? What makes her/him so special? Leave your comment!

Looking for a special gift for your best friend? Buy WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty.

WOOF: Woop-Woop Wednesday - LOL "Prayer"

WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty! Don't own it yet? Click on the title and have it delivered right to your mailbox!

WOOF: Media Monday: A dozen days till Christmas!

It's Media Monday at WOOF... and we're here to help!

Here are great gifts you can purchase online in time for that holiday that keeps getting closer and closer and closer!!

Mary Cunningham Books...for tweens! (All under $15.00 with prices as low as $.99 for downloads!)

Diana Black's Favorite Things...for early readers! (Books under $15 with audio MP3s available for only $1.50!)

Notables Jewelry...for lovers of jewelry and music! (Gifts as low as $15!)

WOOF: Woop-Woop Wednesday...She Santa?

We can't prove a WOOFer wrote this...but truthfully, we wouldn't be surprised!

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

• Men can't pack a bag.
• Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
• Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
• Men don't answer their mail.
• Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
• Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
• Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
• Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men...

• Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy.
• Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
• Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith, and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!! (From the site Comic Relief)

Speaking of Christmas...Remember WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty is the perfect gift for that feisty over fifty woman!

WOOF: Media Monday -- Wise WOOFers Speak Out!

If you've read WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty (and if you haven't, what are you waiting for?!), you understand we're a sisterhood of women determined to be all we can be now and forever more! Apparently these women feel much the same...

"I am more myself than I have ever been."
— May Sarton, poet, novelist, 75

"It’s taken 63 years, but now I know who I am."
— Madeline Albright, former Secretary of State, 63

"I like growing old. I say it to myself with surprise."
— Barbara Macdonald, author, activist, 65

"After all, I’m 81 — I’m experiencing an increased indifference
to people’s opinions — I’m not so scared anymore."
— Olga Bloom, musical director of Bargemusic, NYC, 81

"It’s a terrible thing in women’s culture that you’re supposed
to be dead after menopause in our culture. You’re not
beautiful any more, nothing. Since I was 60, I’ve written
more and had better energy than I ever had in my life."
— Meridel Le Sueur, poet, social activist, 86

"This is the best time of my life."
— Raquel Welch, film actress, 60

Quotes found at The Old Women's Project

WOOF: Furry Friends Friday: OMG!

Courtesy of LOLDogs!

Sure there is! Diana's driving and Mary's riding shotgun.

We're off to the Hoosier state for school visits to Corydon Elementary School and Corydon Intermediate School on Friday. On Saturday, they'll be at their favorite library, Harrison County Public Library, Corydon, Indiana, for a booksigning!

See you when we get back.

Meanwhile, do you have your copy of WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty? Hmmmm? No? Then BUY ONE!

WOOF: WOOP-WOOP Wednesday: Observations on Growing Older -

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything...movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired, or too broke to use them.

~You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. (Huh??)

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep".

~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married" Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch, when GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...2 of which you will never wear.

Thanks to my dear, friend and former NJ neighbor, Nancy Irish for sharing this. Miss you, Nancy!

Have even more fun by ordering WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty - TODAY on Amazon!