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| Wish I'd thought of this years ago! |
WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty!
BUY on Amazon!
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
WOOF: Carol Burnett
WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty
Monday, May 16, 2011
WOOF: A Monday Moment
WOOF loves this from Every Day People...
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For stories honoring the joys of aging, buy WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty
Amazon
OmniLit
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For stories honoring the joys of aging, buy WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty
Amazon
OmniLit
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
WOOF: Woop-Woop Wednesday with Lily Tomlin & Cher!
For Women Only Over Fifty thoughts & stories:
Monday, April 5, 2010
WOOF: Past, Present and Future
A group of 40 year old girl friends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.
10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
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For more Women Only Over Fifty thoughts & stories:
WOOF available through Amazon and Echelon Press!
Accentuate The Pawsitive!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
WOOFer Revolution: A Pawsitive Self-Image
Whoo-hoo! We’re two weeks into the New Year. How are you feeling? Resolutely keeping those resolutions? (Hey, don’t throw that donut at your computer screen!)
Well, if it’ll make you feel any better, WOOFers don’t believe in resolutions. You read right. Why would we when everyone knows resolutions seldom work.
Instead, Women Only Over Fifty endorses revolutions!
And, you’ll be happy to know, we’re instigating our own gentle one right here at the WOOFers Club Blog. Every month this year we will explore a different topic to help our personal world revolve a little smoother.
Oh, and guess what? At the end of each month, we will giveaway a download of Accentuate the Pawsitive, a companion e-short to WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty (Echelon Press.) Your chances to win will increase with every comment you leave!
So, before this planet revolves one more time, let’s get this revolution started and put a pawsitive spin on life!
Between now and Monday, consider:
Well, if it’ll make you feel any better, WOOFers don’t believe in resolutions. You read right. Why would we when everyone knows resolutions seldom work.
Instead, Women Only Over Fifty endorses revolutions!
And, you’ll be happy to know, we’re instigating our own gentle one right here at the WOOFers Club Blog. Every month this year we will explore a different topic to help our personal world revolve a little smoother.
Oh, and guess what? At the end of each month, we will giveaway a download of Accentuate the Pawsitive, a companion e-short to WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty (Echelon Press.) Your chances to win will increase with every comment you leave!
So, before this planet revolves one more time, let’s get this revolution started and put a pawsitive spin on life!
Between now and Monday, consider:
What would it take for you to look in the mirror
with a more pawsitive eye?
Hey, none of us has the time or inclination to reinvent the wheel or ourselves. But who wouldn’t benefit from accentuating the pawsitive a bit more? All it takes is a small revolution here and a gentle realignment there.
Join us here each week for more
Accentuate the Pawsitive
revolutionary topics!
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Want more Women Only Over Fifty thoughts & stories?
WOOF available through Amazon and Echelon Press!
Buy Accentuate The Pawsitive!
Friday, July 31, 2009
AND THE WINNER IS...
Again, a reminder,
This is NOT a picture of DIANA, MARY OR MELINDA!
Or anyone else we know...At least we don't THINK so!
And now ...
The Winning Caption!
(They were all so good, it was really a tough decision.)
Congratulatons, Chris Eldin!--Diana
www.dianablack.net
Monday, June 1, 2009
You Bought A...WHAT???
Contributing WOOFer, Joann Dunn (no relation to Lucy Ricardo), is a wife, mother, writer and WOOFer with a wickedly humorous outlook on life.
Twenty years ago, I wouldn't have taken the machete incident with such - well. let's say equanimity." It's a good word and I like to think it applies to many things at this point in my life, although it probably doesn't. But back to the machete.
As I put my coffee cup and newspaper on the table on our screened-in porch, I noticed a largeish object, long and flat, cardboard encased. The printing on the packaging said "Machete. 24 inches." Now twenty years ago I would have screamed "A machete? You bought a machete? Are you crazy?" But I have matured, and I have learned a lot. For instance, if there is going to be an upheaval, you don't want your opposition to be able to answer "no" to the first volley. You want to start with a " yes." So you start off with something like, "Darling, is this a machete?" followed up by something equally innocuous as, "And is it your machete?" See, already you have two yes's." When you get to "And you are going to get rid of this machete, aren't you?" "yes" will be so much easier.
Anyway, twenty years ago I would have said something like "Are you crazy?" Oh, yes, right, I already said that. I would have followed that up with "Do you want the children to kill themselves?" See, totally wrong. Another "no" for an answer. He would have had to defend his machete and "machete" and "manhood" are both "m" words, along with "mother," and we can see where that argument is going.
So, to cut to the chase, the fact that I am over fifty substantially contributed to the peaceful resolution of the question of using a two foot machete to cut the weeds along the back fence, although there was a nasty exchange about Jose Ferrer playing Toulouse Lautrec while walking on his knees, but only those of you over fifty who have seen the old "Moulin Rouge" without the giddy whirling lights will know what I mean.
Joann Dunn Bio:
Joann Wasem Dunn was born and grew up in central Illinois. She graduated summa cum laude from Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, and received her juris doctor degree from Loyola University School of Law in Chicago where she later taught a number of subjects, including writing.
After moving to the Atlanta area she was a writing consultant to law firms and a portrait painter. In the last few years, she has turned to writing full time, concentrating on fiction. Her series, The Curtis Family Chronicles, set in the Midwest at the end of the 1800’s and the beginning of the twentieth century, consists of three volumes, and she is working on the fourth. She has also written mysteries and humor
She has been nominated for Georgia Author of the Year for 2008, by the Georgia Writer’s Association, for books two and three of the Curtis series, Fortune’s Road and Autumn’s Road. She lives in Marietta with her husband Kevin, a journalist. They have two grown children.
Joann Dunn
Due West Books
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
WOOF Sizzles at the Book Roast
Join us tomorrow, Feb. 5 at the Book Roast Blog!
"Serving up a variety of authors and books lightly grilled and seasoned with humor."
(Answer a question and get a chance to win a free copy of WOOF!)
Monday, January 5, 2009
And...Nobody Got Hurt!
In keeping with recent posts on weight loss (gain!), and outsourcing resolutions, thought I'd share a little heartwarming story from WOOF.
Proud of recent efforts to watch my weight, I felt compelled to share my strategy with my husband.
"I'm not sure if you noticed," I beamed over dinner one night, "I'm trying to cut down on my calories by only filling one plate instead of using side dishes for salads and vegetables."
"I noticed," he remarked, "and must say that I have a lot of admiration for you."
A smug, satisfied smile crossed my face until he added, "You must be closing in on the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest dinner plate."
(The amazing part of this story is that...HE'S STILL ALIVE!)
Got a heartwarming story to tell about your diet experiences? E-mail us! GreatDames@woofersclub.com! We need the laughs.
Milkbone (Mary Cunningham)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Do The Math...
Like a lot of other WOOFers, give or take a stray black sock, I’ve sorted and stuffed a load of dark clothes into the washer about 5000 times over the course of my adult life.You’d think I’d learn.
Oh, but, no.
Today, as I lift damp, limp clothing from the washer, give each piece a shake and transport it to the dryer, I see it. The lint-cover black tee.
That’s what I get for buying new bath towels only every decade or so. And back in the 90’s, when I purchased white ones, I did so to avoid this very thing.
How quickly we forget.
So now, here I wait to see if the dryer can rectify the damage I have done, remove the plethora of lint I have inflicted on an innocent black tee. Damn those new dark green towels.
Besides that, they don’t absorb as well as the old ones.
Oh, there’s the dryer buzzer. Wish me luck…
Of course, the lint filter is going to be just the WORST!
-- d.d. dawg
Sunday, October 19, 2008
It's My Life
Bon Jovi sings about it. Life. Well, this is my new life. Book fairs and conventions. And oddly enough, I love it!Not so much the concrete floors, which are hard on WOOFer feet and legs. But I love, love, love meeting new people!
Who knew a writer could come out of her shell and enjoy interacting with people...instead of putting words on paper (or computer), forming words in her mouth and speaking them. Maybe it's the instant gratification thing.
I don't know, but it has quickly become one of my favorite things. People are fascinating and basically share the same needs and wants. Who knew?
And sometimes they actually buy a book or two.
Sweeeet.
---d.d. dawg
Thursday, September 25, 2008
SHRINK TO FIT
I recently saw the movie, The Women, and was struck by a conversation two characters had concerning the fact that women often “shrink to fit” their mates.
Since we are generally, by nature, “people pleasers,” I think most of us often give up a lot-- or give in too much-- in many of our relationships. We start by trying to be the daughter we think we are supposed to be, adjust to blend into our husband’s life and schedule, and make major “shrink to fit” sacrifices when we have children.
I think that is one of the many advantages of being over 50. Most of us have more freedom now, and no longer have to “shrink to fit” anyone. Not that we don’t always want to try to please others, as well as practice compromise in our relationships. It is just that, in our middle years, we can embrace just being who we are. We can spread our wings to their fullest span and fly! Nothing is there to hold us back.
Hopefully, we learned things like patience, persistence and appreciation for the world around us during our “shrink to fit” days. So when we do get that chance to fly, we take our time, sail through the currents, and soar higher than we could have in our younger years. And that is when we realize that the view is so much more spectacular when you have waited a while to see it.
Melinda--"Mad Dog"
Since we are generally, by nature, “people pleasers,” I think most of us often give up a lot-- or give in too much-- in many of our relationships. We start by trying to be the daughter we think we are supposed to be, adjust to blend into our husband’s life and schedule, and make major “shrink to fit” sacrifices when we have children.
I think that is one of the many advantages of being over 50. Most of us have more freedom now, and no longer have to “shrink to fit” anyone. Not that we don’t always want to try to please others, as well as practice compromise in our relationships. It is just that, in our middle years, we can embrace just being who we are. We can spread our wings to their fullest span and fly! Nothing is there to hold us back.
Hopefully, we learned things like patience, persistence and appreciation for the world around us during our “shrink to fit” days. So when we do get that chance to fly, we take our time, sail through the currents, and soar higher than we could have in our younger years. And that is when we realize that the view is so much more spectacular when you have waited a while to see it.
Melinda--"Mad Dog"
Saturday, September 20, 2008
A Wiley WOOFer
I could see she had spunk when she marched into the booth. “Hello there…” I began my usual pitch.
She grabbed a copy of WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty, and thumbed through the pages. “I’ll take it.”
“Great,” I said. “Is there someone special you’d like me to inscribe it to?”
“Yeah.” She beamed, pointing at her chest. “Me!”
Handing over the signed book, I thanked her and commented, “I love it when a woman gets it for herself.”
With a snort, she turned on her heel and called over her shoulder. “Sometimes that’s the only way you get it!”
WOOFer wisdom at work.
Diana (d.d. dawg)
Monday, September 1, 2008
A Number Too BIG To Ignore!
Fifty. The number catches the attention. Not only of women reaching that milestone, but women younger and older than 50, men of all ages and even “tweens.”
This claim is based on the past weekend’s Decatur Book fest. In the Echelon booth, perched on a stand, stacked on a table, here, there, everywhere…were copies of Women Only Over Fifty, a big old 50 plastered on a red cover. Yep, hard to ignore.
So for two days I met the most wonderful people who were drawn to that number. Men who bought our book for their spouses—to show support if their wives were feeling a little anxious about turning 50 or to honor the fact their partner had accepted it with grace. Young women who bought the book to celebrate a sister or an aunt who would soon quality as a WOOFer or were already enjoying the decade. A young man bought it for his mother. A junior high student stood staring at the cover for the longest time, drawn to it for reasons I will never know, and maybe she hasn’t even yet processed.
Then there were the women of this “certain age” who couldn’t wait to buy it for another friend who was crossing that threshold either willingly or being dragged.
Perhaps the women who touched me the most, when I asked who they wanted the book dedicated to, were the ones who proudly pointed to themselves and answered, “Me!” I particularly remember one woman who then quickly added, “I deserve to be nice to myself.” I told her, she was the reason we wrote the book. She represents the best of this WOOFer breed.
WOOFers. Women not afraid to embrace (with vigor!) wherever they are on their path. Especially so when times are challenging and unfamiliar. But on we go. Head held high and humor well intact!
A big thank you to ALL you wonderful people who stopped by the booth and made my weekend!
The book sales were great. Which means: There are a lot of us out there, in numbers too big to ignore,
This claim is based on the past weekend’s Decatur Book fest. In the Echelon booth, perched on a stand, stacked on a table, here, there, everywhere…were copies of Women Only Over Fifty, a big old 50 plastered on a red cover. Yep, hard to ignore.
So for two days I met the most wonderful people who were drawn to that number. Men who bought our book for their spouses—to show support if their wives were feeling a little anxious about turning 50 or to honor the fact their partner had accepted it with grace. Young women who bought the book to celebrate a sister or an aunt who would soon quality as a WOOFer or were already enjoying the decade. A young man bought it for his mother. A junior high student stood staring at the cover for the longest time, drawn to it for reasons I will never know, and maybe she hasn’t even yet processed.
Then there were the women of this “certain age” who couldn’t wait to buy it for another friend who was crossing that threshold either willingly or being dragged.
Perhaps the women who touched me the most, when I asked who they wanted the book dedicated to, were the ones who proudly pointed to themselves and answered, “Me!” I particularly remember one woman who then quickly added, “I deserve to be nice to myself.” I told her, she was the reason we wrote the book. She represents the best of this WOOFer breed.
WOOFers. Women not afraid to embrace (with vigor!) wherever they are on their path. Especially so when times are challenging and unfamiliar. But on we go. Head held high and humor well intact!
A big thank you to ALL you wonderful people who stopped by the booth and made my weekend!
The book sales were great. Which means: There are a lot of us out there, in numbers too big to ignore,
and we’re gonna…
WOOF on!
Diana (d.d.dawg)
WOOF on!
Diana (d.d.dawg)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Woofers + Chocolate!
d.d. dawg (Diana), Mad Dog (Melinda), and Milkbone (Mary), celebrate the arrival of WOOF books with chocolate/chocolate cake!
Pre-order Today! Amazon
Friday, August 15, 2008
Perks of Being Over Fifty
*Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
* No one expects you to run...anywhere.
* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
* There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
* Things you buy now won't wear out.
* You can eat supper at 4 pm.
* You can live without sex but not your glasses.
* You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
* You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
* You sing along with elevator music.
* Your eyes won't get much worse.
* Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
*You're not "up" on the latest dance moves...and you don't care.
* No one expects you to run...anywhere.
* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
* There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
* Things you buy now won't wear out.
* You can eat supper at 4 pm.
* You can live without sex but not your glasses.
* You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
* You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
* You sing along with elevator music.
* Your eyes won't get much worse.
* Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
*You're not "up" on the latest dance moves...and you don't care.
anonymous author(s)
Milkbone (Mary)
Milkbone (Mary)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Woofers Are Covered!!
(drum roll, please)
Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys & girls. Dogs and cats (well, maybe not cats! Okay, cats included). We're thrilled to unveil the new cover for our upcoming release, Women Only Over Fifty (WOOF)! A funny, light-hearted break from the normal spin of the world. A humorous little book that will have WOOFers everywhere howling at the moon!
Yep. d.d. dawg (Diana), Mad Dog (Melinda) and Milkbone (Mary) can't wait for the book release by Echelon Press. Looks like July 1.
Watch for updates, because we'll soon be launching the Woofers Club Blog, including a forum were you can "unleash" all your funny stories, frustrations, and vents about the "joys" of the aging process.
So, get ready for the Wild, Wacky, Wonderful World of WOOF!
Doggone, we're good!
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