The Red Dress Diary: Honey Moon?!?

Mad Dog's married! Every Friday we've been reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approached. It's official, she tied the knot!


I will be taking a few weeks off from The Red Dress Diary to enjoy out-of-state family members who will be with us for a while after the wedding. A honeymoon can wait. Right now I am so happy to have Tom and our new life together. During these next few weeks, I will probably be helping my little granddaughter learn how to fish with her new Dora the Explorer pole; reading my grandson a bedtime story about trucks, laughing at my niece's "lame" jokes, singing old camp songs with my sister or gossiping about stars with my stepdaughters. I will tell you all about it later!


Melinda (Mad Dog)

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The Red Dress Diary: Entry 14 - What I Know For Sure

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Entry 14:



The day after tomorrow I become Melinda Lyons. I have had the name Melinda Bailey for forty-one years, but I wanted to take Tom's name, I guess, as another symbol of a new beginning. I still can't believe I am getting married after such a long and happy marriage with Sid.

We all have hardships and pain to endure in this world. At times life can be so cruel that you don't believe you will ever be happy again. But there is always hope. Hope keeps us going and is the light at the end of the tunnel.

As I went through the grieving process, I never hoped that I would marry again. But I did hold on to the idea that one day I would be happy again. I didn't know how or when, but I had to believe in my heart that I would eventually find a way to enjoy life like I did before Sid's death. Combined with that, I had that great healer called time. I also worked hard to find my happiness.

So for anyone out there who is going through a painful time--have hope, faith, patience and work hard to help yourself. You can be happy again. I know!

Melinda (Mad Dog)

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The Red Dress Diary: No. 13 -- Young At Heart

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Entry 13:


Young At Heart

It is almost time for me to walk down the aisle in my red dress! (Yikes! I have so much left to do!) As I prepare for this marriage, I have been thinking about our relationship and what is really important to Tom and me.

One of the things that drew us to each other was optimism. We both try to look at life with youthful enthusiasm. Many older men I dated seemed to be constantly griping about the half empty glass. And Tom said he encountered a lot of negative older women.

Life is too short for that kind of thinking. We just want to be happy and have fun! So we have vowed--before we take those most important vows--to try to always remain young at heart.


Melinda (Mad Dog)

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The Red Dress Diary: 11 - Encore Brides

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Entry 11:



Encore Brides

I was surprised to find a whole industry out there that caters to older second-time-around brides. Websites and magazines offer information on everything from "mature" gowns and proper invitation wording, to seating etiquette for ex-spouses and "hot" honeymoon spots for seniors.

There is even a name for women over fifty who are tying the knot: Encore Brides. Okay, it is probably just a marketing label that sounds much more politically correct than "over the hill brides." But I like it!

It makes me feel like Cinderella and Prince Charming don't have to be young. Sometimes they have gray hair that shimmers in the spotlight as they slowly waltz into happily ever after.

Melinda (Mad Dog)

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The Red Dress Diary: #10 -- Time Is On Our Side!

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry 10:

Time is on Our Side
Shortly after Tom and I became serious, friends and family members began to ask us when we were getting married. We wanted to take things slowly, particularly since I was a widow dealing with some complex emotions. People would say things like, "But you are older. You don't have much time left, you know."

I disagree. Maybe we don't have fifty years of marriage to look forward to, but we do have time--more than we ever had in our younger relationships.

We are not juggling responsibilities, trying to find the balance between being good providers, great parents and worthwhile employees. We are no longer struggling to squeeze a few hours into our hectic schedules to see friends or have a "date night." Sadly, we also don't have to deal with in-laws or taking care of elderly parents. We have fewer distractions and more time to devote to our relationship.

We may not have the quantity we did years ago, but now we have quality time to spend with each other. So time really is on our side.

Melinda (Mad Dog)

Did you know Mad Dog can write a limerick about ANYTHING?!?!? Check it out in WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty

The Red Dress Diary: #7 The Bargain Bride

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry #7:

The Bargain Bride:

I am now being referred to as the bargain bride. I guess that is appropriate since I got my dress for less than twenty dollars at a clearance sale, my shoes were half price and our rings came from Sam's. I think we will go with a Wal-Mart cake and the ceremony will take place at our neighborhood clubhouse.

I already have some tongues wagging about the fact that I am being married in a red dress. But hey, that's okay! I think--no, I know--that I am proud of this "give 'em something else to talk about" new nickname. Why spend a lot of money on a second wedding? Or any wedding for that matter? So I'll gladly show off my borrowed tablecloths and punchbowl, home printed invitations, cheap red dress and new title!

--Melinda (Mad Dog)

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The Red Dress Diary: Entry Six

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry 6:

Wedding Gifts? My publisher, Karen, recently wished me the best on my upcoming nuptials and mentioned a wedding gift. That brings up another topic and entry for The Red Dress Diary.

An older second marriage not only combines two extended families, it also means facing the challenge of dealing with two sets of "stuff." At this point, most couples over fifty have lots of furniture, possibly two houses, and tons of knick knacks and pictures. Tom and I decided to live in my little house, so just finding room for his clothes seemed to be an issue.

Then we both realized that having too much is not a problem! Our solution has been to take this opportunity to simplify our lives by giving away as much as we can to our families or charity. And as for wedding gifts, we are adding these words to our reception invitation: No gifts, please. Your gift to us will be your presence.

--Melinda (Mad Dog)

For Melinda Musings pre-engagement, check out WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty (Echelon Press)

Never too old to try something YOU!

The Red Dress Diary: Entry Five

Mad Dog's gettin' married! Every Friday we're reading from her "secret" diary as the big day approaches! Shhh... Here's entry 5, with a bonus picture! (yeah, now we know what Tom looks like!):



Entry Five: "Blithe Spirit" Tom and I went to see Noel Coward's play recently. It was particularly meaningful, since it is about a writer whose dead first wife is conjured up by a medium. The ghost "moves in" and begins to compete with the second wife for the husband's affections. As funny as it was, it also made me think about having two soul mates in one lifetime.


After spending almost forty years of my life with Sid, I did have some happiness guilt when I fell in love with Tom. But then something occurred to me. Sid was the perfect mate for the nineteen-year-old naive, dependent girl I was when I married him. With luck and hard work, we also managed to weather many changes in our long relationship.


But after Sid died, I was forced to change very drastically. Now I feel that Tom is the perfect mate for the sixty-year-old wiser, stronger and much more independent woman I have become. How lucky is that? Some people only find such deep love once in a lifetime. I am truly blessed to have found the perfect man for me--twice.


--Melinda (Mad Dog)