My Valentine

I used to think that Valentine’s Day was just for lovers. But now that I am over fifty, I understand that Valentine’s Day is about love—any kind of love.

This will be my first Valentine’s Day with my husband, so that will be wonderful. I will probably get him a mushy card and he will bring me flowers, and maybe even some chocolate worthy of a WOOFer!

But this Valentine’s Day will be even more special because of all the new relationships I have in my life now. My marriage to Tom gave me four step children and eight grandchildren. I have discovered that love comes in all sizes. It is amazing how much love you get and want to give to children.

I got to see seven of the grandchildren a month ago and it was great to embrace those kids. Austin, who is nine, sat next to me on the couch, held my arm and told me about his new school. The seven-year-old twins loved showing off for me, while two and a half year old Mia thought it was great to help her “Mimi” with my makeup. Kaden decided that Mimi was his safe place and would run to me when that little toddler got into trouble. Amy—who is just younger than Kaden—only wanted to avoid Kaden! And little Grissom, who was born January 6th, was quite the snuggler.

So I guess you could say I am very lucky this Valentine’s Day. I have my new number one Valentine and got eight little ones in the deal!

WOOFer Revolution: The Second Time Around

Love is lovelier, the second time around...

At least that's what Andy Williams crooned in the old song, "Second Time Around." He also mentions that love is wasted on the young. Do you agree? What are your experiences with young love and (ahem), "older" love?

So, here's the question: Is love lovelier the second time around?

It certainly was for me! Like many of you WOOFers out there, I've been blessed with a second chance. The first time around, I married young and had no clue about the do's and don't's of a true relationship. I was so busy working and raising my son, that the fact I had a marriage partner was secondary, or quite possibly, even farther down the list! Our son graduated high school, our beloved dog died, and the marriage fell apart. As I look back, these were probably the only two things holding us together.

More than a quarter century ago, however, I met my soul mate. Oh, I know this term is over-used, but I can't think of a better way to describe my buddy, my "second-time-around" hubby. Not to say we haven't had our trials and tribulations, but we worked through them and have a relationship so strong, Hell, high water, earthquakes or tsunamis can't break us apart. I have to credit the failure of my first marriage, along with maturity, in helping me succeed at my second chance.

Just like we say in Chapter Seven in WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty, it's never too late for an old dog to learn new tricks.

Now, it's your turn! Did a second love revolutionize your outlook? How did you handle problems this time compared to the first? Please share your thoughts.

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WOOFer Revolution: Love, Love, Love

Love, Love, Love…The Beatles sing about it. Cupid inspires it. According to C. Porter, goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it. Fall in love.

Ah, yes, love. What’s more pawsitive than love?

Nothing as long as we’re in it! The minute we’re not, cynicism makes us question this thing called love. What to do then?

Ask a kid what they think love means.

That’s exactly what a group of professionals did. And here’s what four- to eight-year-olds had to say when posed with the question: “What does love mean?”

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

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The Games People Play

Another advantage of marriage over fifty is the fact that you no longer play games. Being older and wiser, you realize that you just don't want to waste your time on those petty male/female games most of us used to play. At least that is what Tom and I have experienced.

Life is much more fun when you just relax and do what feels right and comes naturally, instead of doing what you think others expect, or what you were taught is appropriate behavior. As younger people, we also often try to imitate what we perceive as our "roles," rather than just being ourselves. As we age, I think we come to understand that these are all just useless games that we don't want to play.

Tom and I feel we have more of a "take me as I am" relationship. We are better at accepting each other and have learned how to compromise to make each day as happy as possible for both of us. And that is so much easier than playing games!

Melinda

The Red Dress Diary Entry #17: Living On Easy Street

Things are starting to settle down a bit after our June 14th wedding, and I am amazed at how easily I am adjusting to being Mrs. Tom Lyons. I can still recall how difficult the transition was for me in 1968, when that nineteen-year-old college girl became Mrs. Sid Bailey.

Now I am not so emotional and don't sweat the small stuff like I did when I was younger. We are both better at going with the flow, and have more flexibility with our schedules. And maybe this relationship is more relaxed in part--because we are too old and lazy to fight! Or maybe that is called "older and wiser." We also don't have the financial burdens and responsibilities that we had in our first marriages. In addition, expectations are more realistic this time around. All of these factors have enabled us to live on Easy Street!

So there you go--just one more advantage to being over fifty. Love, marriage and life are all easier!

Melinda

Dewey Readmore Books

Must admit...I’m a dog person. But one special yellow cat stole my heart on CBS Sunday Morning.

Dewey Readmore Books was the resident cat at Spencer Public Library, Spencer Iowa after a heartless soul dropped him into the library book return one cold January night in 1988.

Library director, Vicki Myron, a single mother also in a struggle to get back on her feet after a series of tragedies, found him the next morning, hoarse from crying and suffering from frostbite. He stole the hearts of the staff when, despite his discomfort, nudged each one of them in a gesture of thanks. Their decision to adopt him was rewarded by 19 years of loyalty.

A contest was held to pick a name, and Dewey (named after Melvil Dewey of Dewey Decimal System fame) Readmore Books was officially added to the staff. Patrons and friends donated pop cans and money, from as far away as New York, to pay for Dewey's food.

Don’t get me wrong. Dewey was no charity case. As an official library staff member, he had his own job description:

*Reducing stress for all humans who pay attention to him.
*Sitting by the front door every morning at 9:00 am to greet the public as they enter the library.
*Sampling all boxes that enter the library for security problems and comfort level.
*Attending all meetings in the Round Room as official library ambassador.
*Providing comic relief for staff and visitors whenever possible.
*Climbing in book bags and briefcases while patrons are studying or trying to retrieve needed papers underneath him.
*Generating free national and world-wide publicity for Spencer Public Library. (This entails sitting still for photographs, smiling for the camera, and generally being cute.)
*Working toward status as world’s most finicky cat by refusing all but the most expensive, delectable foods—and even turning up his nose at those most of the time.

To read more about Dewey, his incredible journey and lifetime of love, visit:
Spencer Public Library

Milkbone (Mary Cunningham)